IT'S MINE

ygrittesnow:

when we were babies my dad was a stay-at-home dad while my mom kicked ass in the courtroom but he would carry my twin brother and me around with one baby on the front and one on his back in backpacks

and women would come up and look at how cute i was and coo over me and be like “awww how cute wow”

and my dad would be like, “YOU KNOW WHAT’S CUTER THAN ONE BABY”

and then he’d spin around

and BAM

there was my brother

(via piesinthesky)

yaoibutts:

i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”

like what stupid frenchman saw this:

and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”

(via yna-likes-cats)

phantastichowell:

take one pass it on

(via theyarefalloutmennow)

auntmarie:

That’s also kinda fucked up they make a one paragraph post to announce their breakup when they have fuckin essays about breakfast cereal

(via theyarefalloutmennow)

classic-rocksalt:

roses are black 

violets are black

doors are black

Mick Jagger pls stop painting everything black

(via karmaflavoredhorsecock)

thewholockedarmyinitiative:

icandothisallday:

So, my boyfriend’s roommate keeps firing at him with a little Nerf gun. Today, in retaliation, my boyfriend went out and bought a bigger Nerf gun and is now putting it together while singing: 

Do you hear the people sing
Singing the song of angry men
It is the music of the people
Who will not be Nerfed again

AND I JUST

MARRY HIM.

(via star-spangled-girl-with-no-plan)